First Kisses: Lost And Remebered

As a sat on my porch this morning enjoying a cup of coffee and my favorite classic oldies station in the background, a song came on that I have not heard in sometime, Louie Armstrong’s “As Time Goes By”. The chorus of that song always leaves me wondering, is a kiss JUST a kiss?

To analyze this thought (which trust me when I say this IS the only way to get anything out of my head) I tried to remember all of my first kisses. Being a fairly young woman I found it funny that I actually could only remember very few of them. I can recall my very first kiss in 5th grade during a game of spin the bottle – he was about 4ft tall and I was already well over 5’5. I remember Danny – my first real boyfriend. He kissed me in his pick up truck parked out front of my parent’s house (romantic I know). I remember the odd kiss here and there throughout college, like Jeff (my first in many aspects) who kissed me during a Pat Green Concert at a local bar. However what I found most interesting during my trip down memory lane was those kisses that I could not for the life of me recall.

I sat for at least fifteen minutes trying to remember my first kiss with my most recent ex. I know we went for sushi on our first date, but he wasn’t quite sure if he should kiss me so we just did the awkward hug and I gave him peck on the cheek. After that however – it all seems blurry. I don’t know when or where our first kiss was or much after that really from our entire one-year relationship. This puzzled me. Have I blocked it out on purpose or in the end do we naturally forget the moments that subconsciously do not matter in the course of our lives.

If this is true then why is it that we there are some memories that no matter how hard we try we can’t get out of our head?? For example I recently had a kiss that had to be by far the best I have ever had. The kind of kiss you think only happens in the movies. The sort of kiss you stumble away from because you can’t feel your legs, all you can feel is your heart racing. This kiss although absolutely magical is one I wish for emotional reasons I could, like the others, naturally forget.

Clearly a kiss, with the right person, is never just a kiss. It can be more powerful than any sexual act, or as meaningless as a peck from your grandmother. I have to believe that fate takes care of the rest. If you had the ability to cast these particular memories aside, you would take nothing from the lessons fate has to teach you. Even now, though I might not know the exact lesson I am to learn from my amazing kiss I do know that with time it will come, and the lesson will be worth the pain