Sprinkles:The Wit and Wisdom of CupCakes

Dancing With the Stars: The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

2006-09-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

Last night, after a fabulous diner at THE HUNGRY CAT, a small but delicious east coast fish market style restaurant, my good friend and I decided that seeing as how it was only 9:30pm we would continue our evening at Privilege. I had never been before but we were pretty sure that because it was so early (no one goes out to a club before 11pm here for some fucked up masochistic reason) it would be empty, but what the hell we would give it a try anyhow. I pull my death trap of a vehicle into the valet and hop out. Sure enough the place is totally dead. As we stand there pondering where else to go one of the valets approached me, pointed to my headlight (which hangs off just a bit) and says “You know about the damage you have right?” I looked at him with a blank stare. Who was this jack ass? Was I getting looked down on by the valet? I could not believe it! I quickly got back in the car with Jaymee and left. Screw them. Yes, I am aware that my car is a piece of shit, but it’s my piece of shit – you overweight illegal immigrant asshole!

Continuing on, determined to find some fun somewhere in this shithole of a city, we headed to Tropicana at The Roosevelt. With the premiere across the street for Jessica Simpson’s new film (if you can call it that) we thought it might be a good spot. Once again, we were wrong, but with not many other options we went with it anyways. A little tipsy at this point, from the two glasses of wine (mind you we only had oysters and soup in our bellies) we were desperate for a cigarette, and I was out. After finally snagging cigs from a nice woman at a table we were saved. We drank a bit more and talked with our new smoking buddies (really only staying at the table for smokes and drinks) before retiring for the evening. Or so I thought.

I arrived home at 1am, with a definite drunk stagger, and flipped on my television to see what I had tivo’d when I found what has to be the GREATEST TELEVISION SHOW EVER CREATED, DANCING WITH THE STARS! I had seen a bit of it from pervious seasons but when I saw who the contestants where, it was as though the God himself and handpicked them just for me!

SO there I sat on my couch watching as Joey Lawrence, AC Slater, Jerry Springer, my boy Emmett Smith and that haggard hoe Vivica Fox made me laugh my ass off! Could there be anything better! OF COURSE THERE CAN – THE RESULTS SHOW – TONIGHT 8PM!

FUCK YEAH - I'M OLD BITCHES!!!

2006-09-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well 23 years ago today Cupcakes was brought into this world! Yes it was an inportant day in Worl History and this weekend I plan to celebrate my ass off!

This evening we shall get the party started with non other that the amazing -

PHIL SHANE!!!

For those of you who do not know the fabulousness that is Phil Shane, trust me there will be video next week to introduce you!

Saturday, there will a BBQ extravaganza WITH DONKEY PINATA! I could not be more excited for my weekend!!!!

There will be pictures and video next week, so prepare yourselves……

Vita Is So Fucking Hott!

2006-08-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

Dita Von Teese performed this week at Suite Nightclub and from the looks of these pictures I have only one thing to say!

I do this every night in my ripped Devil PJ’s so I have decided to quit my day job and take to the stage! Except the martini glass will be a large crystal Cupcake filled with frosting!

THAT SEXY!!!

JUST ANOTHER REASON WHY KELLY IS AWESOME!

2006-08-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Kelly sung on stage with the boys from Metal Skool Monday Night here in Hollywood. All drunk in her sweater vest!
Gotta love her ballz!!!!

A Fall Down The Fugly Tree??

2006-08-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

What the hell is the point of getting a ton of free clothes, money and a stylist when you are just going to walk around looking like an ASSHOLE????

For the love of God someone slap some sense into her!

I Forgive You Justin!

2006-08-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

I know I had recently said that I was upset with Justin for starting his new tour in the UK (i was a jealous jealous bastard), but tonight I might have to forgive him. That’s right folks I have nabbed a seat at his Los Angeles Show @ The HOUSE OF BLUES!

My amazing new boss who frequents the VIP “Foundation Room” section of the venue invited me to join her and her pals upstairs to watch to show. I could not be more excited!

I know some people might think it’s cheesy to be this pumped for a Justin Timberlake show but those people can KISS MY ASS cause the man’s got stage presence coming out his pores!

Anyways I will tell you all about it later dolls! Have a great weekend and if don’t yet have plan check out the link below for great ideas!

DEFAMER TO DO LIST

Beckham Gets Bent Over!

2006-08-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

I dont care if he's not the world's greatest player - but HE IS WORLD'S HOTTEST!! (well in that greek god sort of way)

So Fuck You for taking that away of the viewing audience!!! What are we supposed to do now? LOOK AT ROONEY????

I will admit that Beckham has had his ups and downs. But I was saddened today when I heard that England has left David Beckham off the squad for next week’s exhibition game. Luckily the hotter than thought possible Beckham sounded lighthearted when he had this to say:

“I’m proud to have played for England for 10 years and my passion for
representing my country remains as strong as ever.
“I’d like to wish the
best of luck to John Terry and will offer him my complete support in the
future.”

If you need a shoulder to cry on just let me know.....

OK GO - Fun on a treadmill!

2006-08-03T15:51:00.000-07:00

Try this out next time your at the gym. That will really show little miss “I run 10 miles without breaking a sweat” on the machine next to you

Paramount Has No Friends

2006-08-01T18:55:00.000-07:00

First of all I have to say that this film is shit! It’s too soon for most of the people in this country to deal with and I can’t stand the way Hollywood has decided to take advantage!

That being said, at least the dumb-asses at Paramount can’t promote worth shit. Take the myspace page recently set up on the film to be released next week. Not only has in managed to round up a pathetic 53 friends (my friends cougar mom has more than that), but with only two comments I think it’s safe to say the execs at Paramount need to hire their 12 year old daughter to help them out. (She probably already has her own page anyways as a 22 year old busty blond with a leather fetish)

Defamer

Mel-Gate The Insanity Continues…..

2006-08-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

With every news outlet on 24hour Mel Gibson watch after his drunken driving arrest this past weekend I found this car parked on Highland and Wilshire to be hilarious!

Way to go man, I’m sure Tom Cruise appreciates the break from being the media’s punching bag…

I'm Back!!!!

2006-08-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I’m finally back from the best vacation ever! My family rented a house on the beach in North Carolina and enjoyed a week of sun, fun and booze!

My cousins managed to injury themselves the very first day!

That just proves that clumsyness is genetic...My Godson:future heartbreaker...

Nothing bonds family more than togetherness...drunk togetherness

GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES!!!!!

A Hoff Start To A Hung Over Morning....

2006-07-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

So i get into my office this morning a bit hug over from another of my late Tuesdays with Jaymee and I see an email from my crazy girl in San Fran - Katie 0 that in all honestly MADE MY DAY! ENJOY.....

My Own Work...I Do Work Ya Know...

2006-07-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

A music video I PRODUCED a bit ago is up on VIDEOSTATIC.com - but what I love more than seeing my own work is seeing my own work on the same page as Butch Walker's New Video!!! I love it, I love it, I love it!

Check It Out!!!!!

View the article then check out the Video - IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES!

On Vacation With Ronaldo...YUMMMMM

2006-07-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

With the World Cup ending only a short time ago I have to admit I miss my excuse to stare at gorgeous male specimens sweat it out playing the world's best game….

For those of you who feel the same way please view perhaps one of my favorite examples Cristiano Ronaldo - on vacation with his family below.

Why is it you never have a tub a cool whip when you need one???

What the Fuck???

2006-07-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

Remind me not to borrow socks from these dudes anytime soon…

Apparently Virgin Records thought it would be a good idea to give the first 50 guys who showed up wearing only a sock free tickets to some crappy concert – what they didn’t do was specify age, weight, hotness factor etc…..

The only thing I’ve seen dangling from a man’s package I’ve actually enjoyed was my old cowboy hat – but that’s another story for another time.

For Your Listening Pleasure....

2006-07-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

If you don’t happen to have the following two albums it is my advice that you stop whatever it is you are doing right now and go buy them!!!

Dashboard Confessional – Dusk and Summer

- I had always really enjoyed this group but it wasn’t until my gal Lee put in their newest album. This album - #2 in the country AND WORTH EVERY PENNY!

Dashboard Confessional’s MySpace Page

The Rise and Fall of Butch Walker and The Let’s Go out Tonight’s

- I have been a fan of Butch Walker for years and this newest album is sure to wear thin in my stereo from how often I play it. Trust me you will not be sorry - FAV SONG: HOT GIRLS IN GOOD MOODS!!

Butch Walker’s MySpace Page

Cute Couple Alert

2006-07-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

I myself am partial to a man who can make me laugh; it seems now according to sources that Kirsten Dunst feels the same way about SNL star Andy Samberg. Some say they have been seeing each other for a few months now, having met in NYC while she was filming SPIDERMAN 3.

I have a new respect for you Drunkst I really do…

And Andy if it doesn’t work out I’m single :)

Drop The Towel Stephen!!! Please I'm Begging You!

2006-07-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

I had actually forgotten just how hot Stephen Dorff actually is! Lucky for us COSMO UK was king enough to remind us, using his SWEET ASS as their naked babe’o the month!

Even with the blonde hair (which usually does nothing for me) I could just eat this sweetheart up from head to toe!

Justin Rocks Out With His Cock Out...

2006-07-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Well at least it looks like he rocked out...

Though I was very upset at first at Justin for premiering his new album SEXYBACK in the UK, after hearing a few songs form the new album and seeing these photos from his club tour in London it looks like I might have to suck it up and catch him live when he gets back to the states.

Check it out…..

If you need a place for all that sexy you plan to bring back just let me know...

Is it me or are his perfomances starting to resemble a young ELTON JOHN???

2006 ESPY'S

2006-07-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

So the ESPY awards were filmed here in LA last night (to air this SUN on ESPN). With cutie Lance Armstrong hosting – Yum

And the winner is….
HOOK'EM HORNS!
BEST GAME OF THE YEAR!!
UT vs. USC

(Is it me or do their suits match??)

My boy Vince Young also brought home Best Champion Performance - Way to Represent!

And whether you believe it or not guess who played the after party….MARK MCGRATH!!!
Apparently the EXTRA host still thinks that he is cool enough the get on stage and bore us with the same fucking song that we were sick of ten years ago…

Sprinkles: Back In Action Baby!!

2006-07-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so first of all I have to apologize for my total lack of blogs yesterday! I AM SUCH A SHIT!

Lets just say I had quite a night on Tuesday that left me working all day Wednesday on ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEP!

Anyways now that I’m up and running again let’s start off with some sweet stuff….

Beyonce’s Celebrity Diet…CEREAL????

Got Milk???

Kevin Get’s Paid To Show Up…Can’t we pay him to leave?

No Really I’ve got $20 if he’ll just go ..now

Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey running shirtless…ON VIDEO! (I’m sweating just thinking about it)

No I’m not joking – it’s hot!!!

Malcolm In The Middle – Of a playboy sandwich….

Damn Racoons!

2006-07-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

My friend from back home sent me this hysterical video clip!

As of this moment I will give a sweet prize to the 1st person to show up at my door in a racoon costume holding a rubber chicken!

ANY FURRIES HERE???? That's hot!

It’s Official: Congratulations to Victoria and Eric Aguilar!

2006-07-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of being invited to the fabulous wedding of my good friends Vicki and Eric on Saturday and I had a blast!!! The reception was amazing at the Nixon Library Not even the heat (damn was it hot!!!) kept the party from hopping! I love you both and couldn’t be happier that I was able to be apart of your day!

Gwen’s Baby Style…Gucci, Gucci, Gucci!

2006-07-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

In Life there are two things which never fail to bring us great style, Gwen and Gucci!

Pirates Plunder All Box Office Records – Real and Fictional….

2006-07-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

Screw Superman, screw Spiderman and even screw Entourage’s “Aquaman” this weekend it was Pirates who took down the box office in a whirlwind record-breaking show!

Claiming the record of top weekend gross - $132 Million!!
Record of Opening Day Gross - $55.5 Million!

Way to stick it to the crappy comic book character genre! I’m about as sick of seeing good looking men ruined by stretchy pants as I am of seeing Britney Spears pretending her career isn’t over!

Italian Hotties In World Cup Win!!!

2006-07-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

Although I was sad to see the World Cup end (it’s the only good soccer we get to see in the U.S.) I was happy to see my favorite team take the prize. By “favorite” I only mean fav to look at (Go England – you’ll get another chance in 4 years). Let’s reflect on the winning team one last time…..

God I love this sport!

Flashdance And Birth Control....

2006-07-07T12:31:00.000-07:00

I love Flashdance!!!!!

My girls and I were at the local grocery store picking up from the pharmacy when we spotted this bear. In case you cant hear - it sings "WHAT A FEELING"! Of course we just had to do the dance from the video!

Emmy Nominations Are In!

2006-07-06T22:29:00.000-07:00

So the nominations are out for the 58th Primetime Emmy Award! I was so pumped that my girl Kathy Griffin recieved a nod for her "D-List" (kick some ass you red headed slut), and God knows with everything going on in her life right now she needs it!
I only have one thing to say Academy; WHAT ABOUT KATHERINE HEIGL??? have you seen the season finale of GREY'S ANATOMY??? I dont know a single person (ok girl or gay man) who didn't lose thier shit crying like they had just been dumped by the love of thier life when she wouldn't leave Denny's bed! Fuck you guys THAT WAS MONEY!!! See, now I am getting upset just thinking about it. Hold on I need a tissue........

To Remind You Bitches Who Didn't Vote For Her Watch It Again And I Dare You Not To Cry!!!

I Still Love You Katherine!

Shannon Replaces Star: If Only It Were For Good!

2006-07-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

After the large explosion last week on THE VIEW, the show was left without its number one bitch. The line up however for the upcoming replacements proves that Barbara knows no show can go without a STAR….

Former BEVERLY HILLS, 90210 star SHANNEN DOHERTY will fill-in as a co-host
on US talk show THE VIEW later this month (JUL06). The actress joins a growing
list of guest co-hosts sitting in after the abrupt departure of STAR JONES REYNOLDS last week (27JUN06), after her contract
was not renewed. Doherty's new reality show BREAKING UP WITH SHANNEN DOHERTY,
premieres on the US Oxygen network next month (AUG06). She will join forces with
people in relationship peril who want to get out of bad relationships, but can't
seem to do it on their own. Doherty will guest co-host The View on 31 July and 1
August (06). Also scheduled to sit in as co-hosts are AMERICAN IDOL runner-up KATHARINE MCPHEE, DANCING WITH THE
STARS winner KELLY MONACO and judge CARRIE ANN INABA. A permanent replacement
for Jones Reynolds is expected to be named in the autumn (06).

ContactMusic.com

Happy Forth Bitches!!!

2006-07-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

I had a kick ass forth of July weekend! Here’s the breakdown –

Friday Night: drunk in the pool eating a chipwhich (fucking fabulous)!

Saturday AM: hung over watching both my favorite teams England and Brazil get booted from the World Cup (FYI Beckham was a pussy and Rooney’s red card was out of line. How was he supposed to know there were balls under his foot???)

Saturday Afternoon - Night: My girls and I got wasted in Newport Beach. Katie dumped her entire large beer on me which later caused an odd mishap involving Chinese fire drill and my ass in a T STRING running down the street chasing my bitch friends! (Accident my ass Katie Hoe! You will pay!) The night ended passing out on the couch while watching the fabulous SAY ANYTHING!

Sunday: BBQ time baby. At least I think there was a BBQ…I think I had too much sangria, dirty punch and beer. (Was it bad to put all that in one cup?) We had a blast long into the evening. It was a great end to a great weekend!

I should be posting pics soon…..if you're lucky!

Who Find's This As Interesting As I Do???

2006-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

Is Angelina Jolie’s son taking on the look of her ex lesbian model girlfriend Jenny Shimizu???

The UK Gets Everything Fun! Screw That Shit!

2006-06-30T18:06:00.000-07:00

Fuck His Pound! Those damn people get everything cool!
Justin Timberlake is to be premiering his new album at London’s Hammersmith Palais!!!

Ok first of where’s the love man! I have to hear this news with the Fourth of July right around the corner! Have some American Pride Man! And let’s face it Justin if you put a UK broad next to a true blue American Women – you can see why they really call it “The American Dream!”

To Further Prove My Point Please Note The Following OFFICAL SCIENTIFIC PROOF....

I am so upset by this Bullshit I hereby retract my application for your new official oat sower – take that sissy man! NO CUPCAKE FOR YOU!!!

Puck Their Found!

Kathy Puts On A Show For Her Show...

2006-06-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am very, very sad to post the following report from Janet Charlton’s Hollywood:

Kathy Griffin is pulling the wool over our eyes in the nicest possible way.
Kathy, a self confessed reality show junkie, introduced some totally UNREAL
elements to her show "My Life on the D-List." Last September Kathy filed for
divorce from her "soulmate" of over four years Matthew Moline. The divorce was
never finalized and Kathy claimed they were working things out. But in
actuality, things DIDN'T work out, and Matthew moved into his own place last
year. For this season's tapings Matt always arrived early in the morning before
the cameras, and PRETENDED to be still living in Kathy's hillside mansion. The
marriage is OVER although Kathy and Matt are still good friends. When will she
admit her little subterfuge?

We love you Kathy! We had all hoped you could work things out with but we will be here for you not matter what – you don’t have to fake it anymore!

Got Milk????

2006-06-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

Ok – SO I know that this bitch’s tits are more famous in the UK than she is but WTF!!

If anything, this picture only proves me wrong - there is someone who dresses worse than BRITNEY!

OC On Its Way Out???

2006-06-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Remember when Ryan first moved to town, Summer was a bit pudgy, Seth was a nerd with no friends and Marissa was just the innocent little rich girl??

Well thing in the OC have changed quite a bit over the last few seasons and it looks as though we might soon see the last of our favorite spoiled little rich kids.

E! reports that the network has cut back it’s order of next seasons episodes down to 16 giving the network the option to end the show in February and fill the slot with a midseason replacement.

I am not about to lie to you all. I have not actually tuned into the show in quite some time, but if it means saving my dear Adam Brody from cancellation I promise to Tivo accordingly.

And if all efforts fail you can always tune into THE HILLS or LAGUNA BEACH (although slightly less dramatic) for catty rich bitches and spoiled young hotties.

I miss Talon!!!

E!Online

2006-06-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

Photo of the Week:

My Good Friend Katie (TRUE STORY!) sent me this pic of a treasure pulled out of a dumpster behind a San Francisco GAP on a late drunken evening!

Instead of making a lamp I say you use it to really freak out the shore department clerks at Macy’s!

Don't Fuck With Barbara

2006-06-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

I love drama!

In the end do we really care why she left?? The bitch is gone…but unfortunately we have another one coming, and this one is an angry lesbian!

TORI TELLS ALL...

2006-06-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

According to This week’s US Weekly Tori’s mother kept her from her ailing father’s bedside then she was shocked when she had to hear of his passing from a text message sent by a friend…

“On the night of June 23, Tori Spelling sat in Betty’s restaurant in Toronto, Canada, when she received the heartbreaking news via BlackBerry that her father, legendary producer, Aaron, had passed away:
“A friend of mine had seen a TV report and e-mailed me, ‘I’m so sorry. I just heard your father died.’ And I was just in total shock,” Tori tells Us. Her sorrow quickly turned to anger. “My first thought was, I can’t believe my mom didn’t call me!” Actually, it wasn’t a total surprise since Tori, 33, and her mom, Candy have been in a longstanding feud. Because of the estrangement, the self -proclaimed daddy’s girl had only seen her 83-year-old father – whose health had been failing for months – on one occasion since last September. And that tearful visit, at the urging of her brother, Randy, 27 (also an actor), was on June 11, just two weeks before Aaron Spelling died. Tori remembers their final conversation. “The last words he spoke to me were over the phone a couple of days before he passed,” she recalls to Us. “He said, ‘I love you, babe.’ ”

Jaime and Fantasia Swap Gum? A Nasty Surprise!

2006-06-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

If you happened to not catch the BET Awards last night you might have missed the most disgusting display of PDA known to man. If you bare to watch the performance you get a special surprise at the end. Nasty!

(Fast forward to 1:46 if you can’t stand the song)

A Real Housewife!

2006-06-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

I bet he knows how to get into those hard to reach dirty places!

One Word: Desperate!

2006-06-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

I can understand desperate, but Britney Spears takes the cake with these shots for this months' Hapers Bazaar.

In all honestly sweetheart, if you are trying to get your image out of the trash - you might want to at least try to stay CLASSY (versus Ass-y).

It was nice knowing you Britney. There will always be a place in my heart for the young teeney bopper with the innocent face and catchy tunes.

As your ex Justin used to sing you can say "Bye Bye Bye" to your career.

Kidman Weds Urban: First Offical Photo

2006-06-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

Much secrecy has surrounded the wedding of fellow Aussies Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. The couple, who was married Sunday have had a very private relationship since earlier this year.

USA today reports:

“Their wedding took place at the clifftop Gothic-style St. Patrick's College Church in her hometown in an intimate ceremony attended by close family and a smattering of A-list stars. The building was dramatically floodlit for the dusk-to-evening ceremony, held in a small chapel on the compound. The guests then moved to a marquee erected on the grounds for the reception."

Congratulations to the happy couple and to Kidman for coming out of her marriage to Tom Cruise and proving she is the better, and saner person!

First Kisses: Lost And Remebered

2006-06-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

As a sat on my porch this morning enjoying a cup of coffee and my favorite classic oldies station in the background, a song came on that I have not heard in sometime, Louie Armstrong’s “As Time Goes By”. The chorus of that song always leaves me wondering, is a kiss JUST a kiss?

To analyze this thought (which trust me when I say this IS the only way to get anything out of my head) I tried to remember all of my first kisses. Being a fairly young woman I found it funny that I actually could only remember very few of them. I can recall my very first kiss in 5th grade during a game of spin the bottle – he was about 4ft tall and I was already well over 5’5. I remember Danny – my first real boyfriend. He kissed me in his pick up truck parked out front of my parent’s house (romantic I know). I remember the odd kiss here and there throughout college, like Jeff (my first in many aspects) who kissed me during a Pat Green Concert at a local bar. However what I found most interesting during my trip down memory lane was those kisses that I could not for the life of me recall.

I sat for at least fifteen minutes trying to remember my first kiss with my most recent ex. I know we went for sushi on our first date, but he wasn’t quite sure if he should kiss me so we just did the awkward hug and I gave him peck on the cheek. After that however – it all seems blurry. I don’t know when or where our first kiss was or much after that really from our entire one-year relationship. This puzzled me. Have I blocked it out on purpose or in the end do we naturally forget the moments that subconsciously do not matter in the course of our lives.

If this is true then why is it that we there are some memories that no matter how hard we try we can’t get out of our head?? For example I recently had a kiss that had to be by far the best I have ever had. The kind of kiss you think only happens in the movies. The sort of kiss you stumble away from because you can’t feel your legs, all you can feel is your heart racing. This kiss although absolutely magical is one I wish for emotional reasons I could, like the others, naturally forget.

Clearly a kiss, with the right person, is never just a kiss. It can be more powerful than any sexual act, or as meaningless as a peck from your grandmother. I have to believe that fate takes care of the rest. If you had the ability to cast these particular memories aside, you would take nothing from the lessons fate has to teach you. Even now, though I might not know the exact lesson I am to learn from my amazing kiss I do know that with time it will come, and the lesson will be worth the pain

George Bush Gets A MYSPACE Account

2006-06-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

With the help of K-Fed, George Bush gets a Myspace account...

I call BULLSHIT! You Dirty Dirty Whore!

2006-06-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

If you read my blog you might remember a when I posted the Hilary Duff article from this month’s Elle in which she proclaimed:

"It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume…But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in."

From the looks of the contents of Hilary’s tacky plastic see thru purse, it seems that the lying bitch has been doing the horizontal polka since 2000 when she was dating the even tackier Aaron Carter.

Honey it’s not like lying about your age or your anorexia – its sex no one really cares how skany you are (which apparently is really skany considering you were 13 AT THE TIME!!!!

“So You’re Saying There’s A Chance??”

2006-06-22T16:05:00.000-07:00

Justin Timberlake reportedly dumps Cameron Diaz to sow his wild oats on his upcoming tour!

This news has me tingling with glee (sorry Cameron), so I decided that since he is looking – I should apply for the position.

APPLICATION – OFFICAL OAT SOWER FOR JUSTIN TMBERLAKE
Name: Cupcakes

Age: 22

Occupation: Well most recently - Shitty Gossip Blog Writer/Go Go Dancer/ Spokes model/ Door Person at shitty clubs/Bicycle Advertisement Driver/ Dog Walker

Dear Justin:
Please consider this my formal application for the available oat sower position. I feel that my five years of experience as well as my extensive knowledge make me an excellent candidate.

I am no stranger to long hours and hard work. I work well under pressure and am very skilled at managing my time so I may see to every detail. I have the ability to juggle multiple tasks at once and believe that if something is worth doing it should be done right. I am a team player and believe that my light personality and genuine are my best two qualities.

Thank you for your time in reading my application, please contact me in you feel that I am right for the position.

Cupcakes :)

(Actual excerpts from old resume cover letter – he he)

Rollingbones Ancient Ass!

2006-06-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Lead singer for the Rolling Stones (Rolling Bones as my BFF says) Mick Jagger has a real piece of his history up for auction.

According to Page Six vintage outtakes from the 1972 film “Cocksucker Blues” are being auctioned off on the site itsonlyrocknroll.com. One of the clips it seems is of a MUCH younger Jagger mooning the camera (not really into boney ass myself but to each his own) at the current starting price of $10,000.00!

As of today there have been no bidders (BIG SHOCKER).

Page Six

Summer Solstice – Hippies take “Stoned-Henge”

2006-06-22T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice - aka – first official day of summer!

As you know (or have forgotten from your 2nd grade class) it was also the longest day of the year – it’s all down hill from here on out.

To celebrate – or just sit around outside and smoke their hookah’s hundreds of people gathered at Stonehenge.

I dont know about you but that looks like one hell of a party...see you guys next year!

The Man of Steel Premiere’s World Wide!

2006-06-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

The long awaited “Superman Returns” hit theatres last night as all of Hollywood (or at least the ones studio invited-see #3) flocked to the star studded event.

A Few Questions…

1. If It’s Superman Returns, then were did he go? Was he at the Mall getting a new stretchy suit? Perhaps Checking out Forever 21’s new Men’s line???

2. What exactly what happened to Dean Cain? Did he gain all the weight Teri Hatcher lost? (See pic below) Maybe he should try her routine of Strip Aerobics and enemas.

3. Finally, why are there no ACTUAL movie stars there? Come on – any party where Cuba Gooding and Chris Katan are invited and the director brings his own father doesn’t seem too hip to me. I actually don’t feel bad that I was sitting at home doing my nails.

So when I saw that the shorty James Marsden was in attendance - proud inventor of the WORST pick up line I have been ever been unlucky enough to recieve- If YOU KNOW ME YOU KNOW THE STORY, I really knew the party was a bust...

Holy 80’s Acid Flashback! The Corey’s Reunite!

2006-06-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

Varity reports that our two favorite druggin’ & drinkin’ teen stars from the 1980’s will be reuniting for new comedy series that will focus on “fictional” versions of themselves ( a la “Curb Your Enthusiasm”). That's right ladies - THE COREY'S ARE BACK!!!

Boys if “air quote” fictional versions of yourselves means that you will be two out of work once upon a time child actors who are more desperate for a comeback than Scott Baio at this point (actually forget that, there might be no one more desperate). Then “air quote” fictional might be the wrong word.

The Corey’s" picks up with Feldman living the comfortable suburban life with his wife Suzie and son, until circumstances bring his old pal Haim back into the picture. Episodes would follow Haim -- single and the total opposite of Feldman -- as he shakes life up for the Feldmans.

I for one CANNOT WAIT! I always love to view desperation. Especially when it's not me.

US MEN vs UK MEN: Keira Knightley Weighs In

2006-06-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

My friend sent me this article as a joke of sorts because I have had this odd habit lately of dating British men. It’s not a habit really it just seems that I keep meeting them and they can’t resist me (yeah right).

Anyways – apparently I am not the only one. Keira Knightley (from the UK herself) was asked during her shoot for IN STYLE which she preferred British men or American men. I personally love her answer:

"U.K. guys – well, the ones that I know – don't take as much stock in their appearance…Ask an American guy what his beauty regime is, and he'll tell you. Ask a Brit, and he'll say, 'Er … Guinness?' I like that."

Who Is This Guy???

2006-06-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

Who Is this Chris Evans????

Chosen as both one of the “Fittest Men of Summer” by MEN’S HEALTH and one of PEOPLE’S Hottest Bachelors this guy seems to have stayed under my radar.

By the looks of this picture I need to investigate this man, I mean matter further.

Great New Tour Alert!!!!

2006-06-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

New Cutie Pie Teddy Geiger, 17 is set to start off his promo tour for his debut album “Underage Thinking”. Some of you might remember this teenage sexpot from his role on the short lived CBS show “Monkey Love”, on which he played – wait for it – a young up in coming signer songwriter.

To be honest this young man gives me Mrs. Robinson thoughts and even naughtier dreams. His deep voice is hypnotic and can turn any women to mush.
Check our these pics from his promotional tour and for more info click his webpage…

http://www.teddygeigermusic.com/

And yes ladies that is a piano he is playing below....That's so fucking HOT!!!Damn my old dirty mind!

Creepy Odd Couple Alert!!!

2006-06-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

Ok So I found this personally disturbing when I read it over the weekend. As it turns out James Woods’ girlfriend from the opening episode of ENTOURAGE is his real girlfriend.

More odd than the couple itself is James's quote at the bottom:

You Dirty Dog You!!! I hope you've got your VIAGRA!!!

Sprinkles: Chuck Full O’ Vitamins…

2006-06-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

Rooney Get’s Primal….

Though It doesn't seem to be helping them out ALL that much as they skirt by into first place in thier World Cup Group.

Seal and Klum Expecting Third Child: What are you Surprised???

D Listed

Scissor Sisters Play for Elton John…
A whole-lotta gay fun!

Perez

Michelle Rodriguez a Home Wrecking Bitch: BIG SHOCKER
Steals Kylie Minogue’s man (yes the one recovering from cancer)….that’s cold bitch, that’s cold.

Perez

God Damn it’s Hot in Here – Or At Least I Feel a Warming Sensation ….

2006-06-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Pharrell heats things up this summer as a new spokes model for Louis Vuitton. A hot man and designer leather bags…I’m going to have good dreams tonight baby.

Perez

PDA Foul! – Assault with a Creepy Tongue!

2006-06-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Ok so as a follow up to yesterday’s article here are pics I found today of Jenny McCarty and Jim Carey in what looks like a game of tonsil hockey.

HOWEVER – I have to call this one out – WHAT IS WITH HIS TONGUE????

If you look closely at the way he has his tongue it appears as though he is using it on another area other than the mouth – WHICH might I add I have no problem with, but I wouldn’t want to see that in public either…..

DListed

New Fandango Commercial !

2006-06-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Ok so I was at the movies this weekend my gal Lee Ann and we couldn't help but laugh our asses off at this great new FANDANGO ad.

I warn you it's a little weird. Ok a lot freakin weird!

GREAT ALBUM ALERT!!!!!

2006-06-19T12:55:00.000-07:00

I know it’s not a new album but if you have yet to pick up Pink’s latest LP “I’m Not Dead” you should defiantly check it out.
Below are some of the words from MY FAVORITE SONG on it “The One That Got Away”. It is such a poignant tale of love you wished you could keep forever:

I stood by the exit door of the hotel café, he was playing with his band
I've always been a sucker had a weakness for a boy with a guitar and a drink in his hand

His words were like heaven in my hurricane, my knees buckled under I thought everyone was watching me.

Watching you save my life with the song.
You were mine, in the back of my mind
Oh just for one night, just for a while

There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away…

Oh but my man you're someone else’s man and that aint the man that I want.
But you keep drawing me in with those big brown lion eyes

You'll always be mine
In the back of my mind
Oh we had a night
Just a little wine

There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away
In a closed off corner of my heart yes
I'll always see your face
The one that got away

Oh I'm not a victim of clichés
I don't believe in soul mates
Happy endings only one

Oh and I met you and all that changed
I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue

You were mine
Somewhere in time
I'll look for you first
In my next life

Jenny McCarty and Jim Carey Caught!

2006-06-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

How adorable are these two? For weeks they have been dodging rumors that they are indeed a couple but these pictures prove otherwise.

I can only imagine that with these two hilarious personalities – they are certainly never bored.

And if you didn’t check out Jenny in “Crazy Love”, I suggest you rent it as soon as possible! There is a great scene with Jenny flashing her famous breast that had me crying with laughter.

Saving Face.com

USA Ties Italy!!! 1- 1

2006-06-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure if I was the only one watching the US game on Saturday vs. Italy but if you happened to still be sleeping at 11am you missed one hell of a game. Between the three red cards – numerous yellow card and a few controversial calls on the refs part it was defiantly a high point of the cup so far.

The US had to bring their game if they wanted to keep hope alive. Their performance did more than just give fans hope. If the US can step on Thursday against Ghana (a team that played exceptionally well against the Czech) perhaps we will surprise the world to prove that we earned our ranking as a top team.
We shall see….

For stats on the USA team check out

USA Stats – Sports Illustrated.com

Taylor Hicks Shows His Hip Hop Skills

2006-06-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

Taylor Hicks surprised everyone at a Alabama concert Saturday night when he preformed Snoop Dog’s “Gin and Juice” onstage with the man himself.
Check out the video here!

Video – Gin & Juice – Taylor & Snoop

Party Cruise Baby!! New Pics!

2006-06-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

Ok so I finally seem to have the time now to share the excitement I had a few weeks ago when I went on a bachelorette party cruise for my good friend Vicki.

I could tell you of our crazy drunken antics, people getting dirty on the Lido deck or the Euro-trash model I made out with then immediately hid from (he was freaking gorgeous but freakin DUMB!). However I feel that a picture is worth a thousand words – SO ENJOY.

But wait there's more......

The View Gets Out Of Hand

2006-06-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Where is Meredith when we need her to slap her crew into shape???

THE VIEW seems to be headed on a rollercoaster to hell at jet speed!

This morning there was explosion of epic proportions when Comedienne Sandra Bernhard appeared on the show and, amidst a discussion about Laura Bush, characterized the First Lady, with her typical acidity as "heavily medicated." Co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck, a vocally ardent Republican (we still have those?) took acute exception and tried to defend Mrs. Bush's work on childhood education, whereupon Bernhard called Hasselbeck "honey" – and then the sparks really flew.

Click here to witness the beauty that is a great cat fight!

TMZ

Duff to Remain a Virgin until Marriage: Where Have I Heard That Before???

2006-06-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

This girl makes it entirely too easy to hate her!
Taking a cue pop diva turned redneck housewife Brittney Spears, Hillary Duff had his to say in this month’s Elle magazine article:

"It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume…But (virginity) is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in."

Sweetheart though your innocent delusions may seem cute to others I just want to smack some sense into you.

My fabulous gay friend Will put it best when he dared to ask, “How can anyone go through life without dick? Nothing is better than a nice big dick”

Too true Will, too true….

Pop Sugar

Victoria Beckham is Just Asking for It

2006-06-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

I mean really! If you were to look back (which is exactly what I did) you can see the extreme transformation of both Posh and Becks (although let’s not kid ourselves Becks could have dead cat on his head and we would still want to mount up).

Victoria however now resembles leather face. She is over tanned, too thin and seems to have been dragged by her lips down Union Square. Yet, what tops off her odd new look are the plastic nipples attached to her clearly enhanced bosom. Does she think she is fooling people with those?????

Careful Germany if the weather turns chilly she’ll be armed and dangerous!

View The Transformation! It's frightening

Sprinkles – “Taste Like Burning”…

2006-06-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ok for you lazy stoners, the new IPod toilet paper dispenser.
Go Ahead dance on the John, just make sure no one is watching.

Reuters

Rufus does Judy…and does her HARD!!!!
The talented singer kills at Carnegie Hall….

Pink Is the New Blog

Top Ten Eighties Movie Girlfriends…Oh It’s like Discovering Yourself All over Again

Cracked

World Cup Round Up: England’s Head Still Stuck up Their Bloody Arse!
"You have not seen the best of us," insists Beckham "We have put ourselves in a good position and hopefully we will qualify as leaders. But better is yet to come."
Well I should hope so. But If you need a little extra work out to prepare you give me a call :)

Guardian

Derek Ain't The Only Playa!

2006-06-15T15:20:00.000-07:00

In the past two weeks MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo has been spotted with both her on again off again boy toy MAJOR LEAGUE CUTIE Derek Jeter and the Ex – Mr. Jessica Simpson Nick Lachey.

Last weekend after rumors that Derek had reconciled his relationship with Vanessa (supposedly because her performance in Lachey’s video had driven him wild with jealousy). Vanessa was spotted in Cabo San Lucas with Lachey seeming quite chummy.

Then this past week the Vixen VJ was seen cheering on her “boyfriend” at Yankee Stadium. This leaves me perplexed???

First of all WAY TO GO Vanessa! If you got the goods to snag that many beautiful men go for it girl.

I am just going to tell you the same thing I said to Nichole Richie, make up your mind. You can’t keep all the hotties all to yourself (trust me my BFF Lee Ann will hurt you for Jeter, she’s little but she’s feisty!).

Perez

PEOPLE Magazine’s Hottest Bachelors

2006-06-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

People Magazine, once again feeling the need to degrade us normal folks, has picked this years hottest bachelors.

Never have I wished so badly that I was in a cheesy 80’s movie where the man on the page came to life and feel head over heels for me (you can tell it’s been a while can’t you?).

Andrew McCarthy aside, here’s this year’s 14 tasty choices! (Except for Seacreast – I don’t even think the gays want him)

Matthew, always a favorite of my Texas heart (and other parts) leads the pack.

Now I have never heard of PGA star rookie Camilo Villegas, but with a face like this it definitely needs further investigating….

People

Hillary Does Shakira, Minus the Curves…and Talent

2006-06-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

Hillary Duff donned the cover of ELLE this month where she dissed her critics and tried to show off her edgy side. (Sure sweetie, you're a badass, and I'm a Hell's Angel).

"Would people prefer that I take some super-adult role that is inappropriate so I would have no place to grow?”

No Hillary I think I speak for all of us when I say all we wont you to do is GO AWAY!!!

Sun Article

DJ AM Still Not Free From Nichole’s Boney Grasp

2006-06-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

Ok I’m no going to say I don’t find her vaguely amusing at times but this on again off again shit is driving me crazy. These two breaking up and making up all the time bring back terrible memories of high school I try to keep out.

Get your shit together Nichole or let other women have a chance at using his quality spinning techniques (“wiky, wiky, wiky”) in naughty ways.

Perez Hilton Article

Rainbow Sprinkles: Eat'em up Baby!

2006-06-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

Here he his Kingston James McGregor Stefani-Rossdale

Pink Is the New Blog

Ashley Simpson Full of Shit and Herself

I Don’t Like You In That Way

Jennifer snubbed by Brangelina

Female First UK

Denise Richards Proves Back Stabbing Whore Rumors False By Dressing Like A Whore…Wait That Doesn’t Sound Right

Female First UK

My New Favorite Video: Bob Saget’s a Bad Ass!

Screech: Saved by The Shirt???

2006-06-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

Last week news came out about Saved By The Bell Star Lisa Turtle (aka Lark Voorhies) rumored cocaine addiction. Now this week another much loved Bell star is in the news. Don’t worry Jesse Spano isn’t in another shitty stripper (sorry “topless dancer”) film, it’s our dear friend Screech.

Dustin Diamond appeared as a guest on the Howard Stern show this morning and it seems he is in a bit of a pickle (no I am not referring to his rumored 10 inch member).The legend of Screech's endowment [CityRag]

According to his site http://www.getdshirts.com/: (it also appears he cannot spell)…

“I'm Dustin Diamond and you probably remember me from the hit TV show Saved By The Bell. After the show ended I decided to leave Sunny Cailfornia for the midwest. My shitty credit meant that getting a loan for a house would be tough. I began looking and finally purchsed one on a land contract. I was thrilled! Now I call Wisconsin my home.

During the past years the land around me has developed for the better and my property vaule went way up. Now that the house is worth a lot more they want it back. Knowing my credit is bad, getting a straight mortage would take some time. I recived a letter stating that I had 30 days to pay $250,000.00 or get out. I was not thrilled.”

T-shirts with the words "I paid $15 to save Screeech's house" are available to help save our favorite geek from a homeless life of even more shame than he already must endure.
"For $5 more, Diamond will autograph the shirt for you, and while it doesn't say so on the site, we have it on good authority that any donation of $100 and above gets a Polaroid of him violating Mark Paul Gosselaar's headshot with his giant member."

Defamer.com article

GetDshirts.com

Yummy: Hollywood’s Best Racks!

2006-06-13T12:51:00.000-07:00

Editors at In Touch Magazine named their picks for top ten greatest racks in Hollywood. Topping their list was adorable classic starlet Scarlett Johansson.

The full top 10 is:
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Jessica Simpson
3. Salma Hayek
4. Halle Berry
5. Jessica Alba
6. Tyra Banks
7. Jennifer Love Hewitt
8. Rebecca Romijn
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Brittany Murphy

After reviewing the list myself I found I agreed with all but the last two choices. Let’s just say these two have been speeding a bit too quickly down the mountain of fresh white Colombian snow and seemed to have lost most of their ample tatas on the way down.

Instead I offer my own replacements:

#9. My very good friend whose fabulous rack has gotten us many a free drink. She knows who she is:)

#10. THE BIGGEST BOOB IN HOLLYWOOD – RYAN SEACREST
Come on it was just too easy!

Star Pulse Article - Hollywood Breasts

If you want to see the worst Hollywood breasts, check out this link….

Worst Breast Mistakes! Careful These Aren’t Pretty

World Cup Off to Interesting Start….

2006-06-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

Highlights of my favorite games from the first four days of the world’s greatest soccer football tournament

Day 1: Germany opened up the 2006 World Cup with an impressing show. Winning over Croatia 4 - 2. Although the score might reflect a close game, Germany fiercely dominated with more than four times the number of shots on goal and an impressive attack.

Day 2:England’s opener could be looked at one of two ways. On one hand the highly anticipated team beat Paraguay 1 – 0. For those of us who have been looking forward to seeing the best English team in 20 years compete on the stage, it was quite the disappointment. Especially when you consider the only goal scored has technically been called as an “own goal”. (in other words the idiot for Paraguay headed the ball into his own goal) The English team of course has been blaming the weather for the unimpressive showing, (a mere 10dregrees warmer then they are used to) but for true fans we can only hope Thursday’s game will bring out the team we know England has.

Day 3:Poland showed that they are not a team to be ignored with a 1-0 victory over Serbia-Montenegro on Sunday. Considered an underdog, the Polish brought an impressive midfield attack, which controlled the ball and proved that the young team is in this to win it.

Day 4:USA, ranked 5th in the world according to FIFA, lost their first game to the Czech Republic (3-0) with terribly disappointing play. They lacked energy, lacked heart and seemed to wander aimlessly around the field. Watching the game I had flashbacks of the 1992 film LADYBUGS as US team appeared more like 12 year olds licking at the grass and chasing butterflies.

“Fandango” of the Day: Perfect Quote For Perfect Sex!

2006-06-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl speaks the truth when it comes
to good sex….

“The guy I'm dating now is just so fantastic in bed that half the
time I just want to leave the handcuffs on and say: 'I've got to run a few errands, but don't you move. I'll be back!”

I know exactly what she means…only not at this particular moment…Ok now
I’m jealous, can you share???? No really, help a girl out! I already
have the cuffs....

Page Six Article

Mandy Moore A Princess; Zach Braff A Bastard!

2006-06-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

Ok so you know the one couple in high school that was always known for being the most charming. They seemed to have it all; looks, love, smarts, wit.

That’s what Scrubs Zach Braff and adorable singer/starlet Mandy Moore were to many of their admiring fans (myself included). That’s why when I first heard the terrible news that Mandy had ended their relationship two things quickly came to mind:

What are you thinking Mandy! OH THE HUMANITY……….
Then after the initial shock wore off I realized:
That means my all time (ok maybe not all time) star crush is single. SCORE!!!!!!.....

Of course I was able to even get as far as planning our first date when I received the terrible news that THAT BASTARD HAD CHEATED ON HER NUMNEROUS TIMES!!!!.

I have to say I just don’t get it. Why do these Hollywood men always cheat on their fabulous girlfriends?? It leaves one completely perplexed.

Well more power to you Mandy, in my mind just breaking up with him has letting him off easy. If you need someone to Nancy Kerrigan him you just let me know.

Perez Hilton Article

Blurps of the Day:Paris Sing's & Pitt Has Tons of Cock

2006-06-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

Due to the fact I am glued to office television watching the Germany / Croatia World Cup Match I will just give you a few quick interesting facts of the day.

* Well it looks as though Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt didn’t properly think their new child’s name through as it seems that "Shiloh Pitt" in Swedish translates as "two pounds of cock". That's enough to make any dad proud of his daughter.

*Paris the performer
She shops, she shags, she sings!

After many years of threatening us with a
music career, Paris Hilton's first song has
leaked on the internet. Six things about it:

1. It's basically a rip off of UB40s
Kingston Town.
2. We still have no idea of what Paris' voice
is like as it has the most treated vocals since
Patsy Kensit sang I'm Not Scared.
3. It's called Stars Are Blind.
4. Paris's family nickname is Star.
5. The record was produced by Fernando Garabay,
best known for his work with Ashlee Simpson
and Enrique Iglesias.
6. It's not that bad.

Listen Here

The Time Is Here: World Cup Time Baby

2006-06-08T23:14:00.000-07:00

I LOVE IT!!!

BONO SAYS IT ALL!!!!!

David Beckham Gossip and the Best Non-Burger Joint Burger Joint

2006-06-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend Jaymee and I decided to go out to dinner to catch up. I had remembered this few weeks ago she had raved about the new restaurant in front of the Roosevelt 25 DEGREES. She claimed it had been the best burger she had ever had, so of course I had to check it out. I was first struck by the Moulin Rouge style décor and large overstuffed booths (They do serve burgers here right?), but when both our water and wine arrived in jugs I knew I had an experience awaiting me. I’m not sure if I was just buzzed from the wine or it was that fact I had barely eaten all day, but when I finished my burger I had no choice but to agree it was the best I had ever had.

After dinner Jaymee, Myself and her friend Cheryl all headed over to one of my favorite spots, Citizen Smith. It was there that I came across the most interesting information I have heard in a long time. Towards the end of the evening (around 1:30am) I met a man from Portugal. As soon as he mentioned this I brought up my favorite topic of the month – The World Cup. After discussing our top picks for this years winner, he tells me that he works in real estate and is actually out here looking for a house for the Beckham’s (as in David and Victoria) Apparently David has struck a deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy TO PLAY HERE IN 2007!!!
In order to get around the tight salary cap set by MLS, Beckham will play as an owner, being handed over 75% of the team! I have been researching this all morning and have yet to viably confirm, however for years we know Beckham has discussed playing in the US towards the end of his career and now it seems he might have found away around the cap; so it looks like HE'S COMING TO AMERICA!

(that or i am a gullible jackass, oh well)

Music Quote of The Day

2006-06-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

"I do know where you go is where I want to be"

Where Are You Going? - Dave Matthews Band

6/6/06: Were Still Alive, Now What?

2006-06-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

Well 666 came and went today and as everyone feared NOTHING HAPPENED. Now that we have a bit longer to contemplate the end of the world I think we should look to a more terrifying event in the near future - THE BIRTH OF BRITNEY/ K-FED SPAWN # 2! I’m just saying if I were to have to guess the next apocalypse that sure does sound like a sure bet to me.
Anyways guys sorry I haven’t been writing as much. I am still recovering from my vacation but I should have pics and blog up soon – Trust Me – you won’t want to miss’em.

For Your Viewing Pleasure...

2006-06-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!

movie perfection -
in theatres this summer!

Elevator Encounters

2006-06-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

Ok so in my building I have the pleasure and sometimes annoyance of running into the most random personalities on our elevator. The first time it was Farrah Fawcett not looking at all like her former “Angel” self; next came Donnie Wahlberg (yes of New Kids On The Block fame) who tried to keep me on the elevator with his thinning hair and sweet smile (dude I'm not 8 anymore).
Then today I get on the elevator to go grab some lunch and when the door opens I see Brenda Strong aka the Dead Housewife of Desperate Housewives. As she gets onto the elevator I hear a familiar voice behind her. Jeremy Piven aka Ari Gold of Entourage appears from behind her (literally, he is a short, short man) and plants himself right next to me on the elevator.
I grab my lunch with a itch to get back and add this post when I notice he is in his car right outside my building hitting on passer bye. Won’t short men ever learn that all the money in the world won’t make you grow an inch? His status as a chronic party boy on the club scene also makes me think that he needs to grow a bit somewhere else as well.

Tool of The Week: The Devil Wears Prada

2006-06-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

This week’s tool comes a day early simply because I couldn’t stop myself.

To promote his record release this August, Kevin Federline, rapper/leach/dead beat dad submitted to a haircut, a shave and a wardrobe overhaul at a May photo shoot for Item magazine (out on June 5).
If this guy is so deluded that he actually thinks putting on a suit and taking some initiative to appear grown-up will translate into higher sales he might have had his cornrows a little too tight.
Anyway you look at it it’s disturbing and as a wise woman once said “A Donkey laden with gold is still but a donkey”. Britney, some advice, stop riding and ass and find yourself a stallion!

The long weekend…

2006-05-31T18:10:00.000-07:00

Having had originally planed to attend a “white” party at a local club in Orange County I visited my OC pals to dance the night away. Unfortunately none us owned white outfits and thought it would ok to wear whatever, only to be shocked when we were turned away at the door.

“Fuck this” we said as we made our way to the only other parties in town (which we were entirely over dressed for). We partied at some sushi joint that looked like every bar in Los Feliz had thrown up in it. Oh well, at least the booze was cheap and i had a fabulous gay black man to dance with! After that we traveled to O’Hara’s Pub (where we were even more overdressed) to finish the night off with a few pitchers of beer. I got in a heated argument with a USC fan and met a lovely girl with a tattoo that said “Large” on her back (which she was) who felt the need to mount her also large boy toy on the other side of out booth (that’s actually how I noticed the tattoo) not a pretty sight.

1:35 am Sunday May 28th – O’Hara’s Pub Orange, CA I am surprised we could stand!

Hope you had a great extra night of drinking as well. More exploits to come as I get ready for a Bachelorette Party cruise this weekend! Oh how the tequila will flow.

Cup Crazy: I Can't Wait .....

2006-05-31T15:21:00.000-07:00

Oh the agony! It’s hard watch without laughing, but check out this clip of Polish goalkeeper Tomasz Kuszczak. He’s the one with his head up his ass on the other side of the field.

In a great example of unpredictability of the sport the Columbian goalkeeper scores with a long punt which bounced right over the head of Kuszczak. Perhaps he was too busy thinking about the goat still strapped to his bed to notice but either way it certainly doesn’t look for his chances at a starting position. With this being he last friendly game before the World Cup he is sure to have his opponents incapacitated with fear at his incredible ability to SUCK ASS!!!

For more on the game click here!

There Is A God!!!!!

2006-05-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

For months now the world has been under attack. It seemed as though no where was safe. Finally someone has risen to take a stand.
U.K. radio station Essex FM has banned James Blunt from their playlists. Our prayers have been answered!
It’s about time I say. I can only hope the movement continues. Let us come together as one to end the reign of terror that is Back To Bedlam.
As I write this article the pure joy I feel brings a tear to my eye. Bless you Essex FM, Bless you my friend. You truely are an example to the world.

No One Drink The Water…

2006-05-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ok so it seems that there was yet another birth this weekend, this time it was Hollywood’s golden couple of philanthropy Brad and Angelina who welcomed Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt into the awaiting world on Saturday evening.
Other than the fact that the name is a little much (doesn’t anyone just name their kids Jane or Jake anymore?) I think we can all be relieved that now there is a real reason for Aniston to once again play the victim, as though we hadn’t gotten sick of it already.

Congratulations GWEN & GAVIN

2006-05-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

I just had to say congratulations to Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale who welcomed Kingston James McGregor Rossdale today. With genes like these Friday May 26, 2006 is sure to be known as the birthday of the world’s most beautiful man.

TOOL OF THE WEEK : A REAL DICK

2006-05-26T23:26:00.000-07:00

For the first installment I would like to introduce you to Pete Wentz, of Fall Out Boy fame, who decided to put pictures of his penis out into cyberspace for the world to see/laugh at. I have one thing to say to this douche, do what every normal celebrity does and just videotape yourself with a hooker/porn star/nanny. At least them we might still respect you, or at least we’d have a hot video.

I can’t even post these – it’s just too unnecessary and disturbing….

Dick of the week 5/26/06

Los Angeles, My Neighborhood

2006-05-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

In the high pace world of Hollywood it’s easy to feel swallowed up in the mayhem. Everyday there are people whose dreams have been crushed and turn tail back to whatever corner of the world they call home. Disappointment is a hard thing to take.
Just when you start to cast LA off as a cold heartless bitch, you run across something unexpected, reminding you of the fundamental Hollywood commandment, appearances can be deceiving.

Last Saturday night I experienced just that, and at the perfect place for such a revelation, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Under the dark sky of night (as dark as LA can get), surrounded by at least 200 other people I picnicked under the stars as the classic Hitchcock film The Birds was projected onto the side of one of the cemeteries famous mausoleums. Surrounded by tall palm trees our grass “theatre” encompassed everything Hollywood had been so long ago; art, entertainment and awe inspiring sights.

As I sipped my glass of wine I looked away from the screen for a moment to find I was completely surrounded by my neighbors. It doesn’t matter how far they drove to be there or if they lived across the street, it truly felt like community. Even the helicopter with its search lights on nearby did not pull us from the fantasy on the screen or off.

Under the fool moon we all laughed together, screamed together and clapped as one as the film came to an end. For the first time in a long time, I felt that I belonged somewhere. Oddly enough it was right where I had never attempted to look, my own backyard.
Just like the moment when you realize you have found that one person you think you can love forever. You know you will argue and it won’t all be so easy, but when you find that little piece of yourself you were looking for you don’t let go.

A Typical Random Night in H-Town

2006-05-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

Ok so last night I went to a b-day party for a friend of a friend, a male model/promoter for LAs newest hotspot ELEMENT. Only open on Wednesdays for private parties he threw a western themed bash with a mechanical bull to top it off.
When we got there around 11pm the place seemed a little on the empty side. Since the bull was taking up most of the space there was no one dancing and not really knowing anyone but the friends I came with I wasn’t feeling it. Just as I normally do when I want to make friends at a party where I am unfamiliar with the other guest, I went out back and started randomly bumming cigs from anyone who looked interesting.
First, I walked up to a beautiful woman who was wearing a Steve Nash SUNS jersey, which I found highly odd considering where we were. However being a HUGE Nash fan I had to compliment her on her taster. As we begin talking she basically said that she was his LA fling (when he is not at home with his wife). I am not going to lie I was pretty shocked but even though I found that to be way too much information for someone I didn’t know I simply smiled and walked away.
When I made it back inside (just as I felt the Patron kick in) I noticed that the party had doubled in size and there were two celebrity attendees; Rachel Billson from The OC and Joaquin Phoenix (who I found very random considering he doesn’t drink and isn’t a normal party guy on the scene). Being in love with Joaquin I did my best to not stare. My girlfriend however knew the model he was talking to and walked up to introduce herself I kindly turned around and pretended not to notice. HOWEVER, when we went to walk around him to get back to our table I felt HIS HAND GRAB MY ASS!!! I will not deny that I was slightly flattered and he did do it with a firm hand (which the way any ass grab/slap should be done).
So kids that’s my story; I sit here way too hung over to have the work the next 10 hours of my day, feeling as though I need a Starbucks IV hooked directly into my system. Good day all, please leave me comments so I feel that sitting here half asleep and typing this story was worth my time.

K - Until next time friends and luv-ahs!

Hello There...

2006-05-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hello There~

So I decided to set ups this blog to basically have a forum for all of my random adventures, oddball thoughts and basically anything I find interests me at the time. So read on, tell me what you think and feel free to invite your friends!
I plan to post all the latest Hollywood happenings (or at least the ones that interest me), my thoughts on life in general, and basically anything I WANT! So hold on to you seat because I’ve got quite the mouth on me.
I hope you enjoy it friends…..